Monday, June 6, 2011


As humans most of us do not like change. But what is it about change that we also crave? We think, oh the grass is so much greener on that other side. But is is really? Some of it might be but some of it isn't. If didn't have my husband things would be so less complicated, if I just had the bigger house I would be happy, if I was closer to my family I would feel settled, and if we didn't have so much debt our finances would be easier. Truth is none of these things would actually satisfy. The wish of what we don't have makes us blind to what we do have. The positive truth is that I have a friend and companion to come home to every night, I was raised in a smaller house and our is just fine, even though there is now distance between my family and I it makes me treasure the times we have together so much more, and finances never ever get easier!

With change also comes some sacrifice. Especially in marriage. Is it what I want or what he wants? Is it what is best for our family? I think some decisions we make are selfish ones to seek out what will satisfy a craving. Every step in life is a decision and sets us on our path. It may be winding and full of right and wrongs, but what makes it right or wrong? Who is to judge?

Sorry this was a deeper blog than I thought but I am learning. Getting thoughts out there. I feel as if my husband is now settled but I am not. So where do I go from here? How do I see direction. There are so many things that I feel as if I need to be settled: out of debt, bigger house w some land, closer to my parents. Financially none of that is possible? Will it ever be? Is it hopeless?

God doesn't want us to worry. He knows all of our wants and desires. I love this verse:

Jeremiah 29:11
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

What does my future hold? Will I have the desires of my heart? Are my desires, His desires for me?

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