Stressful?

Another holiday weekend has come and gone. I can honestly say that this one was enjoyable! I am realizing that as the girls are getting older they are also more fun. I no longer dread the weekends or long holidays because of the double baby duties, but I am enjoying them. I am sad to admit this because it looks bad on me, but its the truth. After a good nap and the little pool warming, I awoke my girls asking them if they wanted to play in the pool! They start saying wa-we over and over adamantly shaking their heads yes and saying yes. Pool time was fun, and I think we need a bigger pool! I love the sheer joy in their faces when the fully enjoy every detail of the adventure.

Now I am learning how to blend the family of three. Some days I think it takes magic that I don't have, so on those days I say lots of prayers and wonder if God hears me. I know He does because at the end of the day, as my three babies sleep I see the peace that only he can show. Each day is a day that I walk with Him. Like a couple, some days are hand in hand and some days we are farther apart. But at the end of the day, we come together and blessings are counted!

So this weekend was not a stressful one but a blessing!

A little Happy Birthday...

I dont usually post on the weekends so I set this up to post automatically. I hope it works?!

I want to send a very special Happy Birthday to my own mom! She is so very special in every way. So many memories that I pray I will never forget.

A few quotes that make me think of you:

If you have a mom, there is nowhere you are likely to go where a prayer has not already been.  ~Robert Brault

[A] mother is one to whom you hurry when you are troubled.  ~Emily Dickinson

“Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.” Elizabeth Stone

Have a wonderful day, I love you!!
Your sunshine :)'

Just another year?

Today marks my 11 year wedding anniversary. Was this past year just another year in my life? As I look at the back, I see change...oh so much change. This change was also growth. I truly believe, even with all the ups and downs in life, that God brought this man into my life. And with the struggles that we have been through, I can truly say that he loves me unconditionally. His love does truly amaze me.

We both entered into married from a background of the Christian belief, that marriage is till death do you part. I am by no means saying that there are not biblical reasons for divorce, but those reasons are not ones that I pray we will ever deal with. By no means has our marriage be one of just bliss. We have struggled, we have gone to counseling, and we have changed. By change, I mean that our dynamic has changed. We still have our own personalities and still have our same "ways" about us, but we are more considerate. Where I might have held onto things when he got me upset for a few days, I am now over them much quicker and just go on with things as if it didn't happen. He might not have considered my feelings before and now he will before he makes a decision. Choosing battles, just like with children.

God says that "It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet ~ Genesis 2:18". I struggle with this some days and have lost sight of this in the past. I was my husbands help meet. God made me for him and him for me. Sometimes I get so wrapped up in being a working woman, mom, cook, cleaner, ect. that I loose sight of my husband. I am sorry for that.

The past year was not just another year to mark off the calendar. It was a year of growth that I can visibly see. Although there are cloudy days and dark skys sometimes, there are alot more sunny days. I pray for my next year of growth and that God will lead me as a wife and help meet. I love our night devotions together and that moment of intimacy with him and God. Things that we can think about and grow together. For alone we are nothing but together...we'll see what we accomplish in the next year.

Happy Anniversary, baby, I love you!

Mothers...

You will never know that magnitude of a mothers love and grace until you yourself become a mom. My moms birthday is in just three days and of course is gets overlooked it seems because of Memorial Day and also my anniversary. I always joked with her that that was my gift to her, to get married and move out the weekend of her birthday. So, Mom, if you are reading this -- Happy Birthday.

And ... THANK YOU!

Without you I would be nothing and without your help I wouldn't have survived this journey that I am on. A support system is always vital when going though life. Whether it be friends or family. My mom has been my best friend and my worst enemy (and I say that with love). Through all the ups and downs, she is my one constant!

I have commented in the past that without my husband and our teamwork we would have struggled raising the twins. But I also would be remiss if I didn't mention all the endless hours that my very own mother put in. From weeks before to weeks after the girls were born, she was there! I let her go home about two weeks after the girls were born because I was too proud to admit that I still needed help. Luckily she came back willingly a few days later and recued me all over again! She still comes graciously to help out when they are sick, so that I can go to work. Her love is endless it seems and I have been blessed because of her. My husband often jokes that one of the girls will have twins and that he has no plans to go help because he "already paid his dues". But this mom will go in a heartbeat, because that is a mothers love!

Thank you for the wind beneath my wings!

Twenty-one Months...

My oh my...The girls are 21 months today! I can not believe that only 3 more months and they will be two years old! Where has the time gone? Well, the first year was all about survival of bottles, diapers, pacifiers, and formula. The second year, I can honestly say has been much more relaxed and especially the last half. They are such a blessing and seeing their personality grow and shape is amazing.

I can also see how much  my marriage has grown in these two years. There was a breaking point about three months after the girls were born...a period of time that I do not wish to ever look back on. But in my mind every year that passes is another anniversary that I will personally celebrate because in the following months after that time I grew as a person, mother and wife. I thank my husband for hanging in there with me. Along with my change he also changed. It is amazing what it takes to raise two babies of the exact same age at the exact same time. Teamwork...we had to work together. God knew when he gave us these girls what challenges that we would face and that only with His help we would make it. Our family dynamic has changed but only for the better. Our son gets his individual time as well, this was very important! I love our little family of 5, although I never though I would have three children, I am very blessed.

I pray as my son nears the age of 7 and my girls near the age of 2, that God will guide their steps and ours as we parent them.

My view...

As I sit here at my desk, I get to look at my desktop screen that has a beautiful picture on it. What is that picture of? Of course, my three children. All exceptional and visually different from one another.

I once asked my husband if it bothered him that the girls were not identical, because of course it had been on my mind. When you hear the word twins, you automatically think identical, unless they are boy/girl. With mine being both girls, I often wonder if they will miss out on part of the "twin" thing because they do not look alike. His response to my question was one that will never make me think twice again on this subject. He told me, "no, but if they were, which one would you like them to look like". You see, I really hadn't thought of it that way. My daughters were given to me at the exact same time by God blessing and by God miraculous plan he made them different from each other. I now have two extremely beautiful girl versions of my husband and I in our daughters. I am glad that my girls will have their own identity visually but will also have each other in the bond that only twin sisters have.

My son. Handsome, outgoing, full of love, caring, outspoken, and I can go on and on. Our firstborn and only son. One day we are going to have problems with girls but for now this momma can wait because the only hand I want him to hold is mine! He has a bond with his sisters that just warms this moms heart. He has told us that God answered his prayers when he gave us the girls because he asked for two sisters. He has not missed a moment with them and is always asking to play with them. Since he is now 6 years old and the girls are 21 months, things are getting much easier for him to interact and play with them. His never ending love for them I pray will only grow in the many years to come as they are forever brother and sisters.

My desktop picture is one that captures the pure joy that just radiates from my children. On a early summer Sunday afternoon in the pool. My son is in red swim shorts and the girls in yellow polka dot swimsuits with three rows of ruffles. Pure beauty from them all! 

Focus point...

I really want this blog to be about my family, not just about the twins. So, for the first few weeks it may seem as if it is all storytelling. I also may bounce around a little. Please stick with me and I will catch our family up to date and try to start doing entries about daily happenings in our life. There is so much to tell and alot in my head that I want to put down for my kids and for myself. Struggles and joys are all part of the process of growing parents and growing marriage. Please keep in mind that even in the down times, God is good! I can say this now because I am over the hump of depression and learning how to be real in my marriage and as a mother of a singleton and twins!

In the beginning...

To give you a little background on the history of growing our little family. We had been married for three years and started trying to conceive. I had been ready for a few months before but husband just still wasnt sure. Then one day in the beginning of September 2003 he called me at work and asked me: "do you think I would make a good dad?". And that was the beginning of our family. In January we received a positive pregnancy test. I had a checkup done but still had some cramping a month later. The doctor decided to do a ultrasound early. Well, surprise to us, there were two sacs on the screen. What did this mean? Was it twins? Well we had a Baby A and a Baby B, but Baby B never had a heartbeat. The doctor proceeded to tell me that there was twins and that my body would probably absorb the one that had no heartbeat since it was so early in the pregnancy. We continued to be excited that we were pregnant with one beautiful baby! Since the other sac never had a heartbeat I didnt feel such a loss. Looking back now 6 years later, I do. Our son was born in September just a few day after hurrican Ivan in 2004. A beautiful, 7lb 5.5oz 20.5inchs, son! My husbands namesake!

Fast forward four years...My husband and I had bounced the idea around a few times about having a second child. I wasnt so sure that I wanted to rock the boat and have any more children. Things had finally settled down and our son was more self sufficient. In August I got on board that boat and decided that we could afford just one more baby. With our little income which needed to provide another year of day care for our son and then having formula, diapers, clothing, ect. We tryed to conceive for the next few months and by December I was tired of trying (I know that it was only a few months but again I wasnt so sure that I wanted to change our life). Well the last "try" was all it took and in January I was pregnant. I guess my husband has a thing about having September babies because this baby had a projected due date of September 21, one day before our sons birthday! We went into the doctors office exctied and scared. I had joked with my husband about the possibilty of twins but in my heart I just knew. We moved cities about a year and a half after our son was born so when we went to the new doctors office they confirmed the pregnancy and I advised the doctor about my past pregnancy history. He really didn't say much so I didnt think to much about the possiblity of it happening again. I was excited for the ultrasound to come in a couple weeks. Again, I just felt it. No additional signs but just a thought that was in my head. My husband and I went to the appointment, the wand was placed on my belly, WOW again two sacs. Not sure how to describe my feelings at that point but I know my thoughts were, ARE there two heartbeats??? Husband started pacing the room and just couldnt believe what he was seeing. I tried to get him to sit down but he just kept pacing. The answer was YES, indeed two heartbeats! TWINS  God has big plans for our growing family, they were not my plans, but His plans...

Just one more...

Just be careful what you ask for. You know the famous saying "if you want to see God laugh, then tell Him YOUR plans". My life is God laughing at me (or at least it feels that way some days)! Funny thing happens when you are in the doctors office and they put the wand on your belly and tell you your having twins. At first its elation and then its worry if you will be able to afford the rest of your life. Ours happen to be a natural occurrence, or as my husband tells everyone, I was an overachiever. The title of my blog comes from the discussion that my husband and I had for several months before trying to conceive our second and final baby. Our oldest was 4 and would be 5 before the next baby would be born and since my husband and I also each had one sibling we thought it was time to give our son one as well. This is where our world was forever changed. Well, just one more...