Its very important! Any kind of support! But the best you can find is someone in the same situation as you, like other mothers of multiples. This is not a knock on singleton moms, because I was one before the girls, but twins are a whole other world. I thought that raising one baby was very hard and I specifically remember complaining about the little things. NOW after twins I know how easy it really was. I do not dismiss though the complaints from singleton moms but it is harder to find sympathy. And two babies close together is also not the same as having twins! In the same instance, having just twins is not the same as having twins and a singleton. I think that twins alone are easier than having other children in the mix. There are stressful times that I envy singleton mothers and even moms that have just twins alone. Every family is unique and has their own dynamic, we are not to judge who is right and who is wrong or who has it harder than the other. Looking on what works for you and keeping balance. Then I look at all three of my beautiful children, not just when they are sleeping, but I see them and I think of the wonderful creation that God gave me and entrusted to me, and I know that I am blessed beyond measure to have my babies in what ever order/timing they came into this world.
When the girls where about 3 months old, they contracted RSV and were hospitalized for 6 days. This was the worst time in my life emotionally. I can only see it as hindsight is 20/20, but I was suffering from PPD. My problem was that I felt like no one acutally listen to what I needed. I didnt feel as if I need medication and I was no where near the place of hurting myself or the babies, but I was angry and tired and had lost myself. The girls took all of me. Even though I did have my mom and my inlaws, I felt as if I carried all the load and burden and needs of my babies. I broke that week. It was a very trying time in MY life, my marriage, and my family. I wish I could change it and demand that my needs be heard and a solution made. I wish that I had some other moms of multiples that could have stepped in and really could connect with emotionally and trust with all my darkest times.
The thing is, whether your a singleton/twins/triplet/ect. mommy, I feel we all need this help. I am not sure if it was the counseling or just time that healed but I am going on 2 years this fall that this actually happened. I am stronger now. I still have weak days, especially if the girls are sick or all three sick, but I know that these days will pass. I wonder how many other MoM out there just need a full day break from the stresses. We as a society are becoming more self serving and we actually need to be more sensitive and see others needs and help out. I have promised myself that once there kids are older, so the husband is not overwhelmed, that I will offer my help to a new mother.
We try to paint our families as perfect. Pictures on facebook, emails, and photo albums. They paint a pretty picture. But in reality that is not real life at all. I like to tell people when they say, thats a great family picture, that that is just literaly one second in time. Because the next picture would be of the girls going two different directions and a 6 year old pouting. That is life. I wish we could be more real with people, with out the fear of judgement. But again in reality we can't. That is what I struggle with. Who in this world really will not judge? No one. Only God loves us as we are. I trust in Him and He will sustain me!
I say all this, as this was my experience. Not all MoM struggle as I did. But sometimes I wonder how many really do but never say anything? I hope this was not a downer post, but we all have ups and downs. I am on my way up emotionally and enjoying life as it comes and learning not to stress out over the little things. As my mom says, pick your battles!